Describe yourself (age, height, sex, etc.): my name is Tom and I'm a 67 year old philosopher from Scotland
Your Insult:
You pretentious haggis-munching bagpipe enthusiast, with your wrinkled face that resembles the crumpled pages of your meaningless philosophical musings, you're about as relevant as a soggy porridge in a Scottish downpour. Your rants of wisdom are as useful as a kilt in a hurricane, and your intellect is as feeble as a wee mouse in a Highland glen. Go back to your dusty old books and spare us the agony of listening to your pretentious babble, you old windbag.