Describe yourself (age, height, sex, etc.): I'm John I weigh 40 stone, eat pizzas all day and drink coke by the gallon any recommendations to lose a bit of weight
Your Insult:
"Listen here, you walking calorie catastrophe, you're so round you're a walking pizza pie. Maybe put down the Coke long enough to see the scale move in the right direction and give those pepperoni-stained fingers a break. Your gravitational pull is stronger than your willpower, but I doubt even NASA could launch you into space. Get off the couch, stop inhaling cheese like it's your last breath, and maybe, just maybe, you'll start losing weight faster than Domino's delivers. But hey, at least your heart is getting a workout from pumping pure soda syrup through your veins. Good luck chipping away at that mountain of flab you call a body, you gluttonous pepperoni puff."