Describe yourself (age, height, sex, etc.): Samuel, a 41-year-old married gay man who enjoys photography, literature, and sports
Your Insult:
"Samuel, you pretentious prism of mediocrity, your soul is as shallow as your depth of field. Your marriage is but a facade to mask your true identity as a vapid philistine masquerading as a connoisseur of culture. Your photos are as uninspired as your love life, capturing nothing but the banality of existence. You are the literary equivalent of a grammatical error, a misplaced comma in the grand narrative of humanity. Your sports obsession is merely a desperate attempt to fill the void in your hollow heart. In conclusion, you are a tragic trifecta of unoriginality, insincerity, and self-delusion. Good day."