Describe yourself (age, height, sex, etc.): Isaac, a 37-year-old married straight man who enjoys literature, chess, and hiking
Your Insult:
Isaac, you must be the knight on the chessboard's least favorite piece, for you move through life with all the grace and strategy of a panicked rook. Your literary taste is as bland as week-old bread, and your hiking skills are about as impressive as a snail on a treadmill. Your existence is as forgettable as a misplaced pawn in a game of life.