Describe yourself (age, height, sex, etc.): Ethan, a 29-year-old single straight man who’s all about technology, video games, and cycling
Your Insult:
"Hey Ethan, I didn't realize 'forever alone' was a new DLC for your favorite game. Maybe if you pedaled as fast on your bike as you do trying to impress virtual characters, you might actually catch up to a real date. Your love life is like a laggy internet connection – non-existent and always dropping out. Keep cycling in circles, buddy, it's the only race you stand a chance of winning."